Surprise! You’re also the janitor: unexpected job titles of a small business owner

When you start a small business, you picture yourself as the visionary leader, shaking hands, and making big moves. What you don’t picture is plunging a toilet at 9 AM because someone “accidentally” flushed an entire roll of paper towels.

Welcome to small business ownership, where your title is CEO, but your actual job is everything. Some days, it seems like that CEO title is more like Chief Everything Officer. 

Let’s break down the very official (and totally unpaid) roles you’ll take on - and some survival tips to keep your sanity intact.

Head of IT (aka Google Search expert)

Your WiFi is down, the printer won’t connect, and your website is randomly showing stock photos of happy llamas instead of your products. Time to call your IT department … oh wait, that’s you!

Survival tip:

Turn it off, turn it back on. Put it in rice? When that fails, stare at it intensely while muttering, “Why are you like this?” You could just Google it and try to follow along. 

Or, you could make life easy for yourself and invest in a reliable IT support service, with a go-to tech-savvy contractor on speed dial. You'll save hours of frustration. 

Chief financial officer (and budget acrobat)

Budgets? You make them. Sticking to them? Eh. Every expense is a debate: Is this an investment or a splurge? (Hint: The coffee subscription is always an investment.)

Survival tip:

If you’re justifying an expensive purchase with “I deserve this,” you probably don’t. If you’re justifying it with “This will help the business,” you still might not, but at least it sounds responsible. 

Or, you could track every expense, no matter how small. Use accounting software or hire a bookkeeper before your receipts become a terrifying pile of doom.

Social media manager (and reluctant influencer)

Apparently, just existing isn’t enough … you also have to perform online. Cue awkwardly filming yourself and wondering if your dog counts as a follower. 

Survival tip:

If social media feels overwhelming, just remember, no one actually knows what they’re doing. Post, pray, and repeat. 

Or, you could batch-create content in advance so you’re not scrambling for posts daily. And yes, schedule your posts. It’s a game-changer!

Human resources director (and employee therapist)

If you have employees, you’re now also the unofficial office counselor. If you’re a solo entrepreneur, congrats! You get to have HR meetings with yourself about stress, burnout, and why you keep eating lunch over the sink. 

Survival tip:

Keep snacks on hand. Everything is easier to deal with when you’re not hangry.

Or, you could set boundaries early. Have clear policies and don’t be afraid to enforce them, because your sanity depends on it.

Head custodian (and unpaid janitor)

The trash? Your problem. The mystery stain? Also your problem. The weird smell? Probably your problem too.

Survival tip:

Keep cleaning supplies nearby and a strong “not my problem” energy. At least until it actually is your problem. 

Or, consider outsourcing office cleaning if possible. Having a cleaner come once or twice a week gives you some time back. Alternatively, set a cleaning schedule so small tasks don’t become overwhelming.

Customer service representative (and professional apology-giver)

Some customers will be “delightful”. Others will demand a refund for something they clearly broke. Guess who gets to handle all of it? Yup! That would be you again! You’re so lucky!

Survival tip:

Master the art of the polite but firm response. If all else fails, deep breaths and strategic snack breaks. 

Or, you could have pre-written templates for common customer issues. It saves time and keeps emotions out of the equation. 

Marketing director (aka walking billboard)

You’ll talk about your business constantly. At family dinners, the grocery store, even to strangers in line at the post office. Subtlety is for people with big marketing budgets. Your business is your life!

Survival tip:

Own it. If you don’t hype your business, who will? Just maybe don’t try to pitch your business to someone mid-root canal [talk about a captive audience!]. 

Have a quick, engaging elevator pitch ready for the right moment. You never know when a conversation could lead to a big opportunity.

Final thoughts

Running a business is chaotic, exhausting, and occasionally ridiculous. But at the end of the day, it’s yours. Your dream, your mess to clean up, your triumphs to celebrate.

So, the next time you find yourself unclogging a sink between customer calls, just remember …  you’re not just a small business owner. You’re an entire company in human form. And that’s pretty impressive.