Burnout: It’s not a badge of honour, it’s a red flag

Your to-do list is endless. 

You feel like you can barely keep your head above water.

People ask you, “How are you?” and the first answer that comes to mind is “ Surviving”.

There are just simply not enough hours in a day. 

I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR!

Hustle culture seems to have become a trend that shouldn’t exist. It has you believing that you are being more productive, getting more things done, and reaching your goals at the speed of light. 

Get ready because I am sure this is going to land as an unpopular opinion…

IT’S A FALSE BELIEF!!!

Hear me out…

If you are crossing things off your to-do list, had a productive day, and had micro victories in reaching your next goal….

Why are you feeling drained, disinterested, and short fused?

You do it all, in record time, and take on more because well, you don’t say no! You attend to everyone else's needs and wants because it’s what you do.

EVERYONE else is fulfilled… yay you! Right?

I hate to tell you this, but it looks like it's at the cost of your own fulfilment and well being.

This is not a sustainable lifestyle and if you keep going, not only will you have nothing left to give, but you will be of no use to yourself or anyone else around you if you burnout. 

Burnout isn’t what you think

It isn’t about just being tired or exhausted. 

It sucks the joy or inspiration out of the work you used to love doing. It leaves no excitement left in things you look forward to after work. You build a resentment towards your environment whether it’s within your business, clients, family, relationships, or yourself. You become a black hole of negativity not finding purpose in anything and you shift into auto pilot. 

People think they can just take a day off, sleep through and get back to business the next day. If it was only that easy everyone would be smooth sailing and burnout wouldn’t be a thing. 

It takes more than just a day off twice a year. 

It takes new consistent habits, a shift in mindset and resilience to overcome and prevent burnout. 

Every aspect plays a part for it all to come together and work. You need to be willing to make some changes to see the progress. 

**Disclamer: be prepared, some people may not like the changes you are going to make but this isn’t about them! It’s about you… so they can either accept it… or hit the road. 

Here are some key areas to look at if you want to avoid burnout 

Acknowledge “people pleasing” may be a problem

People pleasing gets a bad rap but I think it really depends on why you are doing it. 

If you are people pleasing because it truly brings you joy and you haven’t sacrificed yourself or what you wanted in the interim, go for it. Being kind is one of the most emotionally rewarding things you can give yourself.

BUT if you are people pleasing because you fear that you will disappoint them, or they may dislike you, or it’s the path of least resistance you need to STOP it right now!

Being kind and doing what you can within your means is a beautiful thing. 

But once you start sacrificing what makes you happy or where you want to spend your time, it will become a problem and even worse, a habit with the receivers. They know you will do what they ask, so they keep asking. 

They have now formed a sense of expectation. That is not ok!

Saying no is NOT a bad thing. 

It is not a bad word. 

Stop treating it as such. It is a very possible option. You need to let go of what other people will think and do what is right for you. If you can make yourself happy AND them, awesome! If you can’t, that’s ok. But you need to come first. 

You need to start acknowledging what you do is enough. You are enough. 

Accept that not everyone is going to love your boundaries 

Now that we know saying NO is ok, you need to start saying NO more often.

It’s not just no. 

Even “Not right now”, “let’s reschedule”, “I don’t want to”, or “ I prefer *** “ are all great options.

Boundaries need to be set in every aspect of your life. They can look like this:

Work

Have set working hours and shut it down (including your brain) at that set time, or you can set specific days you have meetings and other days you focus on working within your business. 

Family

Attend the functions you want to and decline the ones you don’t. Communicate to your relatives you don’t want to participate in family drama and keep your distance from those you can’t stand being in a room with.

You

Stop settling for the minimum. Instead of taking a day off work to do your house chores, take a day off work and treat it like such. Do whatever it is that you enjoy for you! Whether it’s getting a massage, retail therapy or binge watching Bridgerton. 

Sure, some of these things are going to piss some people off. But these are the same people that benefited from you not having any boundaries in the first place. If they truly care about you, your desires and well being, they will be cheering you on from the sidelines and if they aren’t that excited they will still respect them nonetheless.

Your ego is not your friend- Ask for help

You can do it all. I know you can. You know you can. But don’t. 

When are you going to start to see that the more you do, the less you have to give to everyone else? Still don’t see it? Let me paint a picture or two.

You need to send out 4 proposals. 

You have 3 zoom calls today. 

You have 2 urgent emails to attend to. 

You have to call Francine back. She is waiting for your input before her launch. 

You get it all done, and finish off the day by posting your content on your social media. 

OH SHIT- you just posted another client's content and to top it off just realized you have missed an inquiry from someone you met at a networking event about a business proposition that you were hoping for…8 days ago!

Home isn’t any better. 

You have to get dinner done, but you forgot the carrots you need for the roast. 

You run out to pick up the kids and trip over the remote control car your son left laying around. 

As you’re driving you remember you have had a load in your washer that has been sitting there for 2 days and now needs to be rewashed. 

When the kids get in the car 1 says they have a spelling test they need to practice for and the other one asks if you remembered to get the bristol board for their project. 

They both also ask you if you can all play a board game after dinner.

WHY ARE YOU NOT ASKING FOR HELP?

Yes you can probably do it all - but probably not to the best of your ability. But there are many things in both scenarios where you can ask for help so you will have more time for them and for yourself to just breathe.

All of these things don’t just disappear. Yes they absolutely need to get done. But if YOU are choosing to do it all on your own then you may have an issue with control.

That control is costing you time, energy and missed opportunities. Let go of the reins and start asking for help where you can!

For the love of all things good in life- LIVE YOUR LIFE

If you have read this far I think I’ve painted a pretty good picture of how you are not living a life that is yours. You are an important part of everyone else’s life but you don’t have a life of your own.

If you want to avoid the feeling of resentment, disengagement, flat out burnout then start living for you. 

Yes we all need rest. But we also need more than just rest. We need purpose. We need excitement. We need joy. We need all the good feels to fill our cup.

People want you at your best self. This won’t happen if you keep dodging to care for yourself and putting everything and everyone else first. 

For all the things you are trying to cram in one day, remember, you are NEVER going to get that day back. Fill your cup. Do the things you love. Find excitement or something to look forward to.

You get one shot at this life. Make it worth it. 

In a nutshell 

Yes, burnout happens. Especially when we are so focused on everything else around us and don’t focus internally. But it doesn't mean you can’t dig yourself or prevent it for next time.

You can still be kind and have boundaries. No is not a swear word. Asking for help does not make you a villain. Selfcare is not selfish. Filling your cup is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

Live a life worth living and you will create a fortress that no season of burnout can break through.